Long ago, Ken Plume had a dream. And that dream...was to become Santa Claus. He even dressed up, cotton balls and all, as St. Nick.

Now Ken seeks to make that dream an even more tangible reality--with the purchase of a full-on Santa Claus suit. And herein we arrive at THE NUTS ON THE ROAD SANTA CLAUS CHALLENGE.

If we receive the $600 necessary to purchase Ken's Santa suit, then Ken will wear it for the amusement of our viewers and listeners.

But wait, there's more.

Widge has agreed, if we get a little extra scratch on top of the $600, to acquire a Mrs. Santa outfit and become the bearded, chain-smoking, boozey Mrs. Santa, accompanying Ken.

There isn't a picture of Widge as a child dressed up as Mrs. Claus because he never did that. AND YOU CANNOT PROVE OTHERWISE. Here, instead, is a picture of a random wall outlet.

BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE.

There might--MIGHT, mind you--if we have the gas money to do it with your donations--the possibility of appearing live on stage as Santa Plume and Mrs. Boozer. But more on that later. Or you could listen to Episode 15 of our podcast where we explain it further. Or not. Actually on retrospect, I think it just confuses the issue. But never mind. You can donate using the button-thing below. If we hit $600, the magic happens.

But hurry. Because cotton balls can't make happiness. Thanks.